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Blob City
I’ve spent many sleepless nights trying to find the right words to describe what it’s like to go completely blind. It’s not like flipping off a light switch! For most people who are blind, about 90% according to the stats, there’s still something to see. Maybe it’s just light perception, like knowing the sun’s out there doing its thing, or maybe it’s catching a glimpse of colors, like a fuzzy rainbow. But for a few folks I know who’ve been completely blind since birth, sight is just one piece of the sensory puzzle, and they prove you can live a full, vibrant life without it. Me? I’m somewhere near the end, navigating a world of blobs, and let me tell you, it’s a wild ride.
Let’s get one thing straight: life without sight isn’t easy, but it’s absolutely worth living to the fullest. I mean, who needs 20/20 vision when you’ve got stubbornness, a good sense of humor, and a knack for dodging furniture? (I still bump into things, but I’m working on my ninja skills.) The world of blindness is filled with challenges, but it’s also brimming with possibilities. I love chatting with people about the tech that’s out there, like screen readers, smart canes, apps that describe the world like a chatty tour guide. But the real MVP in my life is Braille.
Braille is like the secret handshake of the blind community. It’s tactile, it’s elegant, and it keeps my brain as sharp as a tack. Fun fact: reading braille lights up the same part of your brain as reading with your eyes. So, while I’m running my fingers over those delightful dots, I’m basically doing mental push-ups. Without braille, I’m not sure I’d be as happy as I am today. It’s my bridge to a world of books, notes, and magazines.
I’ve been blind in one eye since I was a day old, thanks to a condition called Septo-Optic Dysplasia, which led to Optic Atrophy. Sounds like a villain from a sci-fi flick, right? Basically, it means my optic nerve cells are slowly checking out, like guests leaving a party early. Back in the 1970s, though, I didn’t let that stop me. I was just another kid, tearing around on bikes and motorcycles, channeling my inner Evel Knievel. Sure, I had more crashes than the average daredevil—my nickname was and still is “Crash”—but I didn’t care. My parents were my biggest cheerleaders, telling me I could do anything. I still believe them.
In January 2024, my doctor dropped a bombshell: “Stop driving.” The next month, another gut-punch: I had about two years of sight left. We hoped it’d stretch longer, but my vision had other plans. Right now, I’m down to five degrees of peripheral vision, and it’s blurry, like looking through a foggy window. Everyone and everything is a blob. My wife, Deana has been my rock through this whole journey, encouraging me to keep going, even when I’m tempted to throw a pity party for one.
Here’s what it’s like to live in Blob City. I can still pick up colors, so I might notice a red hat or a green shirt, but details? Forget it. Reading text is like trying to solve a puzzle in a windstorm. I have to stare at it forever, and it better be in font size “Billboard.” Walking, though, is my jam. It clears my head and usually puts me in a better mood. This morning, I strolled down to Green Valley Park, looped around the lake, and decided to grab Deana a drink from the gas station on the way back. Easy, right? Wrong.
I sauntered up to the cooler, ready to be the hero of hydration, only to remember I couldn’t read the labels. Picture me, squinting like a detective at a crime scene, trying to guess which bottle was Deana’s favorite. I grabbed one that looked vaguely familiar and hoped for the best. Then, a kind stranger piped up: “Need any help?” I could’ve hugged him. He confirmed I’d picked the right drink, then asked, “How’d you figure that out?” I explained my blob-vision situation, and he was surprised. Like most folks, he saw my white cane and dark glasses and assumed I was living in total darkness. Nope, just blob central.
That white cane and dark glasses? It’s like the unofficial “blind uniform.” People see it and assume I can’t see a thing, which is honestly a safe bet. I don’t mind the assumptions, better safe than sorry, right? Most people are just trying to help, and I’m grateful for it. I always say “thank you,” even if I don’t need the assistance. The other day, someone offered to guide me across the street, and I thought, Buddy, I’ve been crossing streets since disco was king. But I smiled, said thanks, and let them feel like a superhero. It’s a win-win.
The truth is, every blind person’s experience is different. Some of us see blobs, some see light, some see nothing at all. What we all share is the ability to adapt, to find joy in the little things, and to keep moving forward. For me, that means laughing at my own misadventures, like the multiple times I called a Mister a Misses or vice versa. That can get dicey really quick.
Losing my sight hasn’t been easy, but it’s taught me to lean into life’s unpredictability. I’m still the kid who rode motorcycles and dreamed big, just with a few more battle scars and a better sense of humor. With Deana by my side, braille to keep me sharp, and the occasional kind stranger to point me toward the right soda, I’m living a life that’s full, messy, and mine. So here’s to the blobs. May they always be colorful, and may I never stop finding the humor in this wild, blurry world.
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f/128 Intro
In this short introduction episode of f/128, I discuss why I’m doing this podcast and how I can help others navigate the challenges and joys of life. Drawing from my personal experience, I also share the adventure of going blind and how it reshaped my relationship with the world, particularly as a passionate lover of film photography. The journey will be transformative, revealing unexpected beauty and creativity in each moment. I believe the insights and stories I share can inspire and empower others who might be facing their own obstacles. Together, we will explore the nuances of photography, discuss techniques, and delve into the stories behind the images that capture our experiences. Please join me on this fantastic adventure of a lifetime, where we celebrate not only the art of photography but also resilience and the human spirit in the face of adversity.
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Stuck
As I pen this entry, I hope it will mark the end of a series of “blind” updates for some time. Have you ever found yourself in an inescapable predicament? My dialogue will carefully omit any direct reference to my employer, a vast global entity. Before the devastating prognosis of my impending blindness, and the ensuing revocation of my driving privileges, I found fulfillment in my profession and thrived on a perfect work routine.
My earlier schedule had me traveling to a neighboring town for work, beginning at 5:00 AM and ending at 1:30 PM from Monday to Friday. My return home was typically around 2:00 PM, allowing me the luxury of a brief rest before tending to household duties and at times, preparing dinner for my wife, Deana. This routine suited us well, allowing us to enjoy our evenings together, and even catch a movie after her workday had concluded.
Following the dire revelation about my vision, I was compelled to request a transfer to a branch within walking proximity to my home. This transition was protracted, lasting a month, with three weeks in which I received no compensation. My role in the corporation pertained to merchandising—a field I had not sought academic training for nor anticipated finding enjoyable. However, my penchant for order, structure, and meticulous tasks seemed to align well with the demands of the role.
Despite my capability and experience to perform my job without sight, the company reassigned me to an in-store position, with working hours slated from 1:30 PM to 10:00 PM on arbitrary days. My wife’s schedule has her leaving for work at 8:00 AM, during which I stay with our dogs until she returns at lunch to drive me to work. Consequently, we have been deprived of the cherished evenings we once shared. My new role demands squinting at minute details, which results in intense eye strain and headaches by day’s end.
While my employer has fulfilled the legal obligations, their support has not extended beyond that. My objections to this decision are manifold. I am naturally inclined towards early mornings, valuing the ability to complete my workday ahead of time and spend evenings with my loved ones.
Pursuing alternative employment remains a viable option, yet I am faced with the dilemma that full disclosure of my visual impairment may render me unemployable. While part-time work is attainable, it would compromise my access to quality health insurance. The coverage I currently hold is excellent, but parting ways with my job or reducing hours would precipitate a twofold increase in insurance costs. My wife’s insurance plan does not cover dependents, which further immobilizes me in my current role.
My aspirations for financial support through my blog and magazine, alongside print sales, have yet to yield significant results, though I express my deepest gratitude to everyone who has engaged with my work.
Under South Carolina’s regulations, disability benefits are inaccessible to me until my vision constricts to 20 degrees or less; currently, it stands at approximately 40 degrees. The Commission for the Blind is a resource, but its primary focus is to ensure employment for the visually impaired. Despite these challenges, I am determined to persevere in the hope of a breakthrough, but the everyday struggle is real, with a mortgage and other bills aligning with the fiscal responsibilities that many of us face.
It is not my intent to lament my circumstances; however, I cannot ignore the reality of the corner I seem to be trapped in. I am contending with Septo Optic Dysplasia and Optic Atrophy, amongst a long list of other challenges, and yet I take solace in the fact that I’m still able to provide for my family—this is undeniably a positive. The unwavering support from my wife, Deana, has been nothing short of heroic, and her strength is a blessing for which I am eternally grateful.
Should anyone have practical suggestions for additional sources of income, I would be keen to hear them. We seek your ideas and assistance. While I seldom mention it, there is a tip jar situated on the right side of the blog—for those inclined to support my endeavors with the equivalent of a coffee, it would be greatly appreciated. In my forthcoming post, which you can expect on Monday, I will discuss my preferred and reasonably priced folding medium format camera.
While I have pursued photography as a business venture for several years, it has not been financially lucrative for me. The ordeal nearly overwhelmed me at times. Nevertheless, it is an endeavor that brings tranquility to my spirit. Its absence would leave a void within me — for it is intricately tied to my identity.
I am the individual who approaches others with enthusiasm about cameras, only to reveal that I am progressing towards blindness. This revelation often elicits surprise and confusion; however, I find a certain satisfaction in such reactions. People are strange, but so am I.
It is my intention to share my narrative with you, one that intertwines simplicity with complexity. I invite you to subscribe to this blog for further insights and to explore more of my photographic journey.
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Moving on…
Columbia Trip
Scream 7: A Blind Cinema Experience with Audio Assistance
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Walking With a Blind Cane
Living with vision impairment involves constant learning and adaptation, and my recent experiences have truly highlighted this journey. Participating in orientation and mobility training with a specialist from Columbia was not just an educational endeavor, but a life-affirming one. The specialist displayed a remarkable combination of professional expertise and compassionate support that has empowered me in ways I hadn’t imagined possible.
Navigating the world without full sight is fraught with potential hazards. While the technical jargon is vast, the fundamental goal remains straightforward: avoid accidents, whether with vehicles, bicycles, or obstacles on the path. Mastery of the blind cane is crucial in this respect. The various tips that adorn the cane—a marvel of simple design—are surprisingly communicative, furnishing tactile feedback about the ground underfoot and the obstacles flanking the path.
A mundane commute can be a gauntlet for those with visual impairments. My daily journey involves a half-mile trek along a sidewalk that is not always in the best of repair. Here, the cane serves as an invaluable ally, probing the terrain for perils and helping me maintain a straight course. Transitioning from sidewalk to road signifies an escalation in risk, and it is here that a careful pace and keen hearing become my guardians against the dangers that quiet electric cars, like a Tesla, might present.
The complicated intersections are a particular concern. One such crossing I regularly navigate requires traversing four lanes of traffic, set at an unusual angle, lacking the guidance of audible pedestrian signals. Here, the life-saving virtues of patience and acute listening are never more apparent. The near-silent approach of electric vehicles heightens the peril, making it essential to rely upon one’s auditory senses to a degree that those with vision might find hard to fathom.
The message I wish to impart to drivers is one of vigilance and empathy. Keep watch for those of us with canes; these are not mere accessories but vital tools signaling the presence of a visually impaired or blind person navigating the byways and thoroughfares you share. I brandish my cane not just for personal navigation and safety but also as a clear signal to you, the driver, alerting you to my presence and my needs. This cane is for depth perception when negotiating rough terrain and a visible beacon to declare my visual limitations to the surrounding traffic.
Our roads, our paths, they are shared spaces. As participants in this communal realm, we bear a collective responsibility to ensure safety for all members, especially those who confront these spaces without the benefit of sight. The kindness drivers display in being mindful of visually impaired pedestrians like myself makes an indelible difference; it makes these journeys less daunting and the world a little more accessible, one thoughtful act at a time.
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Columbia Trip
Natural curiosity had us traverse the bustling streets of Columbia, South Carolina, on a serendipitous Tuesday. This was not just a pleasure trip; it masked a significant purpose, deeply personal and life-adapting. As my vision dims and the world blurs, Deana and I ventured forth to the Commission for the Blind. The aim? To understand the beacons of technology that might light the way in my everyday life now altered by encroaching blindness.
The Commission presented an ocean of possibilities, devices, and applications as potential guides in this darkening world. Among them, a digital magnifier came into focus. More than a mere amplifying lens, this marvel promises the restoration of the written word to my fingertips or, more impressively, to my ears with its ability to read out loud. Another assistive light in the dark is JAWS, a screen reader that narrates the digital tapestry spread across my computer screen, a herald of inclusivity in the digital age.
These technological lifelines, while ingenious, do come at a price. The South Carolina Commission for the Blind stands as a sentinel, providing support with the backing of both public generosity and private benevolence. The assistance I receive is not merely institutional—it is human compassion crystallized into action, a shared triumph over adversity. Only time will tell as to how long this process of receiving these assistive technologies takes.
The evaluation culminated against the historic backdrop of the State House, a place saturated with the echoes of the past. Immortal stories are etched within its domain, awaiting a voice to bring them to life. Dominating the landscape, the statue of George Washington stands tall, with its broken cane bearing witness to the passage of time. In the year 1865, it was not the thundering cannons or gunfire that struck a blow, but rather a simple brick hurled at the bronze figure of Washington by federal soldiers, an act leaving a permanent scar that recalls Sherman’s occupation and the lasting impacts of his military campaign.
Our pilgrimage through these monuments spoke of the delicate balance between the transient present and the immutable past. The grandeur of museums, the silent watch of monuments, the intricacies of architectural marvels—all whispered histories long etched into the city’s soul. And as historians in our own right, we engaged with this dialogue.
Armed with but one roll of film and my cherished Pentax Spotmatic F, I endeavored to capture the essence of Columbia within its crisp frames. The anticipation of revealing those moments, suspended in the chemicals of development, fills the gap left by short hours and unvisited mysteries.
Columbia—the very name evokes images of power, law, education. Here, the hum of activity is punctuated by the youthful zest of students, the calculated gravitas of legislators, and the astute discourse of the bar. To be amidst this whirlwind and yet find solace in its eye is the dance of city life, thrilling in its pace, comforting in its labyrinth quietude. It leaves one exhilarated, weary, and in perpetual chase of the balance between the pulsing heart of urbania and the restorative calm of an Upstate retreat.
Returning home, the experience lingers like vivid afterimages—between the hopeful promise of aiding technology and the echoing footsteps across historical grounds, Columbia stands both as witness and participant in the march of time and the unfolding narrative of my life’s evolving chapter.
