We tend to think, especially when we are young, that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. An idiotic idiom, aye? The truth is that the grass is rarely greener. Whether it be relationships, jobs, or locations on this crazy rock we call home, the next person, job, or locale is rarely better than the last.
Let’s discuss careers. I was in a job that was incredibly dangerous. The pay was decent, but I worked crazy hours. I never knew when I’d get off of work. It had its positives, but the money, although good, wasn’t good enough to counter the risk. The job I have now is consistent. I work the same hours every week, but the money is laughable. I go into work before dawn, but I get off at the same time every afternoon. It definitely has its positives, but like anything in our lives, it has its negatives as well.
Let us now discuss locations. Since I was a wee lad, I dreamt of a mistical land, called Hibernia. I read every book I could find on this phantasmal island on the edge of Europe. I read of myths and legends of yore. As I got older, I read of rebels, rebellions, and political and religious upheaval. I still love Ireland and will love it until the day I die, but I am not Irish. Genetically speaking, yes, I am majority Irish, but what is it to be genetically Irish or Irish at all? A question for another day, perhaps?
Now, let’s discuss the elephant in the room. Perhaps you didn’t pick up on it, but I placed relationships first for a reason. My heart is heavy. I’m sitting in my office with a hot cuppa Earl Grey. The sun is setting below a layer of ashen clouds as blackbirds fight for the scraps of summer. They know, as I do, that mother winter is near.
When we are young men and women, we tend to jump from one relationship to another like we’re playing hot potato or musical chairs. It’s hilarious, really, but it is how we learn what we like and what we don’t. As we get older, we grow as people and we hopefully gain a wee bit of wisdom along the way. Some people never learn.
I can, of courser, only speak from my own male perspective, so I’m going to stick to that instead of wrongly giving examples for both sides. In my younger days, I’d be with my girlfriend and see another woman with a bigger butt, longer legs, or red hair, and think that I needed that woman. I’ve always been a sucker for a redhead. It’s in my DNA. As I found out the hard way, that other woman with a different physical attribute or a better personality wasn’t always better. Sometimes, I’d wish later on that I’d stayed with the woman I had been with.
These are things that we should learn in our teens. The grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence. That new job is not always better. That magical place that you think you can run away to will not solve your problems. Your problems follow you wherever you go. Face them and keep moving. Life will knock you on your arse. Get up, dust yerself off, and keep moving.
The girlfriend and I are going through a bit of a rough patch. That would be putting it mildly, but I’ll refrain from airing our laundry in public. I met a friend for supper the other night that I’ve known for about a year. I needed a night out. She obliged. I had no other intent except to talk and catch up. I am an honourable man. At least I like to think I am. Nothing happened between us. In fact, I spent a lot of the evening talking about my little lady.
There’s only one woman that is my heaven on earth and my Oppenheimer. The woman terrifies me. She could destroy me with a sentence or raise me to the highest mountain with a word. She’s as bold as brass but fragile as glass. I’d travel to the end of the earth for that woman. There’s a lot going on in my life, but the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing on my mind as I fall off to sleep is her. In some ways, she is my world. That’s something you have to be careful about. You can lose yourself in a relationship. No one wants to date themselves. A subject for another day, perhaps? I’ll leave you with a wee poem. Until tomorrow? 🙂
Eyes that sparkle with brilliance,
like brilliant diamonds carved
from the purest of azure seas.
Dazed by your light,
I staggered into the shade
to admire your exquisiteness.
Now, in the darkness,
I relaise what is absent
from my existence, you.