To Blog?

Jefferson Davis — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 18:46:21 +0000

I’ve been having a rough go at it this last year. It was a year ago today that I quit my job and started making plans to leave the states. Plans don’t always come to fruition. In a way this was a good thing. I learned from my mistakes and will not make them again.

2009 did not start out any better. I suffered financially for months, but again, I gained more than I lost. Sometimes things happen for a reason. People tend to blame ‘God’ for everything that goes awry in their lives. I do not believe that God puts us in bad situations. It is of our own doing the majority of the time. I do believe in free will. What happens in our lives is up to us!

We can’t stand back and hope that good things will happen to us, we have to make them happen. If you want to be a famous musician or mogul, you’ve got to make it happen. It takes dedication and a lot of sweat. It is true, however, in America and elsewhere in the civilised world that it is not what you know but who you know. This vexes me but it is a part of life we have to contend with just like disabilities or other problems that inhibit our abilities.

Recently, I became aware that the server that this blog resides on was about to expire. I could renew the contract with the server company for another two years for a nominal fee or just let it go into the ether of the internet. I struggled with this for a while, not really knowing what to do. On the one hand, it is an archive or my work and on the other it’s archive of mistakes. It’s a double edged sword or sorts.

So, I called a dear friend yesterday and the subject of the blog came up. I told her that I was going to shut it down. She threatened to come o’er here and kick my arse for doing such a vile act. She really inspired me saying that my poems and pictures bring hope and beauty into the lives of those that view them. She went on to say that the world needs more people like me to be inspirational in tough times such as these.

In an enquiry that was not about vanity but about honesty, I said that life is a play and somewhere along the way I’d like to get up on stage if only for a moment. She told me to fight. To get out and fight for a spot rather than let my stomach curl up into a ball of knots. She went on to say that I should knock those that never paid their dues off their pedestals and fight the actus reus of the world with an iron maul. She may not be my lady anymore, but she is one hell of a friend.

After her pep talk, I decided to keep the blog going. The world isn’t getting rid of Jefferson Davis just yet! First thing Monday morning, I’m going to pick a fight with a newspaper editor. I want and deserve a job, dammit!

It’s a Bad thing

Jefferson Davis — Sat, 22 Nov 2008 04:37:14 +0000

Right, anger is not a good thing, no matter how many times Martha Stewart tries to say it is! It lurks in the dark and weak recesses of our souls awaiting the chance to erupt and cause destruction upon our lives.

You see, I don’t take losing easily. I’m not the type of guy to just give up and forget about his dreams. I’m a stubborn mule that won’t take NO for an answer. I’d climb every hill and eat granite to get to the summit. Never would I just turn around in shame and go home.

But, that is almost exactly what I did. The very fact that I gave up so easily has been driving me mad (not a very far drive. ). I should have never ever given up so easily. It is not in my character to be a quitter. When I was younger, I had to fight just to wake up every morning. Even in the last few years, I’ve had to fight the state for the right to drive a vehicle. And, I had to prove that I was competent enough to control me funds. They all wish they hadn’t messed with Jefferson Davis. Don’t even get me started on doctors!

I’ve been mad at myself for months for letting such an opportunity slip out of my hands.

Tuesday night, I was walking from the local shopping centre to my truck. A young man came running out from the darkness encircling a block of cars. He pleaded that I give him some money so that he and his girlfriend which was still at the petrol station could get some gas to get home.

At this point, I asked him which station. His eyes began to cross, as he pointed in a zig-zag motion. I asked him what her name was.

“Ma…Maa….Mary, yeah”, he slurred whilst pointing into the darkness.

“Do you know how many times I’ve heard this story, boy?”

“You don’t believe me?”

“No!”

At this moment, I was still moving towards my truck. I discovered two more young men hunched over behind a muddy and tattered Toyota Supra.

“I need the money”, he yelled whilst leaping towards me.

“They are going to rob you, you idiot”, I thought, as I reached for his collar.

He was no more that eighteen and slender like myself. So, I screamed for a guard that was on duty and threatened to beat him to death if he tried to get away. The two blokes lurking in the shadows ran off, leaving their friend behind.

“What in the hell did you and your pals think you were doing?” I demanded, as I shook him like a nut shaker shakes a pecan tree.

“They put me up to it”, he muttered, as the rent-a-cop made has way to us.

“What’z he dun?” The officer asked whilst relaying to the radio operator what was going on in the parking lot.

“Made a move to rob me”, I said whilst letting the kid out of my grip.

“Come on inside, I need you’z tah sign sum pap’r w’rk”, he mumbled, as he dragged the youngster through the entrance.

The security officer, with his belly hanging over the top of the desk, asked me what happened. As it turned out, the boy was only seventeen and had no prior convictions so he was released, but not before I had the chance to talk to him. I told him to stay out of trouble, but gave him one lifelong tip.

“Never ever mess with a white man with his head down, chances are he’s got more problems than you or just a nutter!”

“I’m ah…white man”, he said, as his eyes twitched.

“Do you want someone fecking with you, when you have your head down?”

“No!”

“Then why in the hell did you see fit to fuck with me”, I yelled while the rent-a-cop laughed.

He shrugged his shoulders and smiled. His father came in and apologised for any trouble. He said that he was a good student but was mixed up with a bad crowd like so many other young people.

I saw something within myself out there in the midst of the pallid street lights. There is part of me that loves the fight. I could chalk it up to my Cherokee ancestors. They did enjoy scalping their enemies.

Seriously, it is not good to let anger build up. Thankfully, I handled myself in a rational manner. I have not always been so refrained though. My short fuse must be gettin’ longer. That, or the kid got lucky.

Right! The three glasses of Chardy that I had with dinner are beckoning my attention!

Peace!!!

Don’t let anger build up in your soul. It’ll destroy the the loveliest part of you – your soul –, if you let it.

May the Schwartz be with you…

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It’s a Bad thing

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