I’ve been having a rough go at it this last year.  It was a year ago today that I quit my job and started making plans to leave the states.  Plans don’t always come to fruition.  In a way this was a good thing.  I learned from my mistakes and will not make them again. 

2009 did not start out any better.  I suffered financially for months, but again, I gained more than I lost.  Sometimes things happen for a reason.  People tend to blame ‘God’ for everything that goes awry in their lives.  I do not believe that God puts us in bad situations.  It is of our own doing the majority of the time.  I do believe in free will.  What happens in our lives is up to us!

We can’t stand back and hope that good things will happen to us, we have to make them happen.  If you want to be a famous musician or mogul, you’ve got to make it happen.  It takes dedication and a lot of sweat.  It is true, however, in America and elsewhere in the civilised world that it is not what you know but who you know.  This vexes me but it is a part of life we have to contend with just like disabilities or other problems that inhibit our abilities.

Recently, I became aware that the server that this blog resides on was about to expire.  I could renew the contract with the server company for another two years for a nominal fee or just let it go into the ether of the internet.  I struggled with this for a while, not really knowing what to do.  On the one hand, it is an archive or my work and on the other it’s archive of mistakes.  It’s a double edged sword or sorts. 

So, I called a dear friend yesterday and the subject of the blog came up.  I told her that I was going to shut it down.  She threatened to come o’er here and kick my arse for doing such a vile act.  She really inspired me saying that my poems and pictures bring hope and beauty into the lives of those that view them.  She went on to say that the world needs more people like me to be inspirational in tough times such as these. 

In an enquiry that was not about vanity but about honesty, I said that life is a play and somewhere along the way I’d like to get up on stage if only for a moment.  She told me to fight.  To get out and fight for a spot rather than let my stomach curl up into a ball of knots.  She went on to say that I should knock those that never paid their dues off their pedestals and fight the actus reus of the world with an iron maul.  She may not be my lady anymore, but she is one hell of a friend.

After her pep talk, I decided to keep the blog going.  The world isn’t getting rid of Jefferson Davis just yet!  First thing Monday morning, I’m going to pick a fight with a newspaper editor.  I want and deserve a job, dammit!