Then and Now

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In September of 2005, I started this whacky, artsy, and slightly insane blog.  I was flipping through the archives the other day and realised that I have grown up a lot.  There is still much maturing that needs to happen to me and the blog, but who wants to grow up, really?

I used to post intimate relationship matters.  Thankfully for me and the kind readers, I don’t do that anymore.  I’ve learned a great deal about people and the world through this harebrained experiment we call the blogosphere.  I’m grateful that I’ve met so many interesting and inspiring people.

This thing started because I was planning for a trip to Ireland and was searching iTunes for a podcast that might give me some tips.  I happened upon a podcast hosted by two expats living in Belfast, Northern Ireland.  I learned a considerable amount from their show, albeit most of the information was a twisted version of the truth.

The chap producing and hosting the show was inspiring, so I started a wee blog over on blogspot.  I don’t have much use for the guy, but like it or not, his podcast is the reason I started this crazy thing.  It has died and been reborn several times in the last six years.

Blogs are strange things, really.  They are our own personal space filled with our thoughts, dreams, and opinions on whatever subject we choose to discuss on a given day.  It feels private, but it is far from it.  Reading another persons blog is like breaking into their house and reading their diary with their permission.  It’s odd, but the world is odd.  The world is a smaller place because of it and I am very grateful for all of the friends I’ve made.

It is my greatest hope to keep blogging and learning from others.  In 2006, I was in a local pub having a pint and giving the poor sod beside me an earful of my relationship woes, when a nerdy (young version of myself) bloke came running up to me asking if I was the guy on that infamous podcast.  By late 2006, I had started my own podcast, so I was hoping that he was talking about my show.  He was talking about the other show that I was on in June of 2006.  I said that yes it was me and he brought his girlfriend over to meet me.  I told him what really happened on that particular show and he insisted on buying me another pint that I didn’t need.

After that I decided to work hard on the content of the blog and the podcast.  I managed to get the infamous Dr. Don to join the show.  He added hilarity and honesty that you can’t find just anywhere.  In Episode 25, Brian F. made his debut.  He made sure I didn’t go off the deep end with my rants and kept the facts straight.  He also added even more humour to the show.  A few months later Dario Sanchez graced us with his presence.  He’s hilarious and brilliant.  Not long after that, Brian managed to get the smart, funny, and talented Baino to join.  At around the same time, that famous and cantankerous auld fella, Grandad, joined the ranks on episode 44.  And finally, the infamous and hilarious K8 the Gr8 made her entrance and exit on Episode 50, Kilos of Craic.

I thoroughly enjoyed the podcast and would hope to produce one in the future.  There was no money in it, just the joy of getting together with people you know and talking about the craziest topics.  We all knew that we were having some sort of effect on someone somewhere.  When we stopped doing the show, we had several hundred listeners.  Not that many in podcast terms, but enough to encourage us to keep it going.  However, it was taxing on us all.  We had to line up a time to meet across 15 time zones.  It was far from easy but well worth it.

This blog has died off since those pioneering days of blogging and podcasting.  I was going through my own hell and everyone seemed to be going in different directions.  The content started to suffer, so I almost pulled the plug.  Thankfully, I kept it up as more of an archive than anything else.  I started to fall apart like an old stone wall ravaged by storms, but I am gradually rebuilding the wall, one stone at a time.  I can only hope I put them back in the correct order.  :)

I would not be the man, good or bad, I am today without the lot of you  Thank You all…

verdure

School’s Out

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It appears that I have managed to get all A’s this semester.  I’m grateful that I did as well as I did.  I had the same Instructor for two of my classes.  The two classes with her were Criminal Justice and Criminology.  I loved the Criminal Justice class.  The book was an overview of law and criminal justice throughout the ages.  She would ask questions to see if we actually read the chapters and the room would fall silent.   So, starting on the first day of classes, I started answering the questions and giving my opinion on the subject at hand.   Two other students and myself were the only one’s throughout the entire term.

We discussed English Law and how Common Law came into effect in the states in her classes and others.  Actually, my state still observes English Common Law.  In my Law class we went back to how laws were developed in the Roman Empire.  It was quite fascinating.  I’m a lover of history, so I inhaled those chapters.

The other class I had with her was Criminology.  She’s a grand professor and all, but I despised the subject matter.  They used statistics to claim that children of career criminals have a higher probability, due to their environment, of being criminals as well.  Hello?  Is anyone home?  You don’t have to spend millions of dollars to figure that out.  It’s common sense, people!  And, don’t even get me started on Freud.  He was a drug addict that scribed theories in a drug induced state.  But, because he is considered a founder by so many highly paid nutters, I have to take his words as though they are holy.

She and I talked a lot between classes, so she knew that if we talked about Australia or the English imprisonment of the Irish rebels (no offense to the English.  I realise that the Monarchy treated you all just as bad as the Irish, Scottish, and Welsh), I’d speak up and give a brief history.  On a few occasions, I tended to get too passionate and mutter on for too long.  And, when we got to imprisonment of slaves during and before the Civil War, an older African-American lady spoke up.  So, the two or three of us that spoke up and we all learned a lot.  I still have much to learn about the law.

One day I was telling the teacher about getting into a bit of trouble with TSA.  As I was heading down the hallway to leave, one of the young women that never says anything tapped me on the shoulder.  I turned around and asked her what was up.  With a countenance that would raise the heartbeat of any man, she smiled, threw her hair back, and said, “I’m Irish”.

Now, I’ve never stated in any class that I’m Irish.  I’ve said that my ancestors were mostly Irish. 

“Really?”

“Yeah, like, my grandmother was from LondonDerry.”

“You mean Derry?”

“I guess….I was wondering if you wanted to get some coffee and tell me more about the Irish?”

“Sure”, I said with glee.

Anyway, we had a coffee and a I found out that she’s only 18.  Those damn morals got in the way again.  To make a long story short, I told her she was a plastic paddy like me.  There are so many young people out there desperately seeking an identity.  If the parents don’t step up and tell them of their history and that they should be proud of their ancestors, they are certain to pick the wrong identity.  When I’m asked if I’m Irish, I tell people I’m an American of Irish ancestry and I’m proud of my ancestors whether they were fisherman or nobles.  Right, she was really into the fact that I had gotten into trouble with TSA.  And, I told her about my troubles with the Hollyroodhouse British authorities.  Women say they don’t want a troublemaker, but they really do.  If that angel on my shoulder hadn’t been yelling louder, who knows…  Winking smile

Here’s a few shots from my latest photowalk.  My next post will be structured better.  Sorry for getting off topic.

bare

river_riverberations

spuming

Shadow falls

Blue Autumn Sky

falling

Shimmering Falls - Greenville, South Carolina

white

Denied

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I haven’t posted anything in over a month.  Even Google has written me off.  My apologies for the absence.  It has been a tumultuous couple of months.  I don’t enjoy admitting what I’m about to admit, but in order for you to understand what I’m talking about, I feel that I must tell you folks what has been going on in my life.

After repeated job declinations, I went down to the local Disability office and applied for Disability.  I never thought I’d be in a position where I’d have to do such a thing, but the sun doesn’t shine on the same dogs arse everyday.  In the middle of July, I went down to the office and handed the lady that was interviewing me a two page list of conditions and ailments that I have and another list of doctors that could corroborate my story.  It has been almost six months and everything that I stated has been verified.

I was not brought up to take from the government.  My father recited JFK’s famous line, “Ask not what your country can do for you, but ask what you can do for your country”.  I grew up in a house where we didn’t want the government intruding upon our lives.  My family shells out six figures a year in taxes to the state alone.  I thought that I had paid in a considerable amount as well.  In my naive stupidity, I reckoned that my country cared about my well being and would help me out during these trying times. 

All I really wanted was assistance until I can finish up my degree, but the fact is that they really don’t give a damn.  I’m not Black, I’m not Hispanic, I’m not Asian, and I’m not enough Native American to claim it.  So, what it comes down to is the fact that I’m a disabled white man that is supposed to pay for every one else to sit on their fat arses.  And, I’m supposed to work my fingers to the bone so a minority or an immigrant can go to college (no offense to my friends and folks I call family overseas, but you all would get free college over here.) and barely pass.

My GPA for this semester is 3.75.  It’s not perfect, but I try really hard and study for hours on end.  I’m a hard worker.  All I’ve ever expected is the chance to succeed and move up the social ladder.  However, this is not what one receives when one works his or her arse off.  Several months ago I went in for a job interview to do Audits for a large commercial company.  Trying to be honest, when the application asked if I was disabled, I checked the yes box.  Big freakin’ mistake.  The lad half my age asked me why I marked that box, so I tried to downplay it and said that I’ve always excelled past anything anyone has ever asked for me.  After a few minutes of asking me questions, he looked over at me, and asked, “Why don’t you take a job as a cashier or janitor like other disabled people?”

I wanted to knock him the feck out, but kept my composure and left after he said he’d keep me on file.  This past week has been a hectic one.  I asked everyone to do their best to leave me alone, so I could properly prepare for finals.  Of course, they did not.  I should have just said I’m free all week  On Tuesday, the day of one of my hardest written exams, I had to go with my cousin to work on a house for me Mum.  Now, I love me Mum and would do anything for her, but it was a bad time to be asking me to paint and install tile flooring.  Dr. Don and myself finished up about two in the afternoon and I came home. 

When I arrived home, I noticed that the mail lady had been here.  With hesitation, I checked the mailbox to see if I had received a letter from the disability office.  By chance, there was a letter in there from them.  I hesitated in opening it, but I did anyway.  I was hoping and praying to get the assistance, so I could finish school unimpeded, but alas, it was a denial letter. 

I called them up and said, “Let me get this straight, I applied for a gub’mint job and couldn’t get it because I’m too blind, but when I ask for assistance as a last resort, I’m not blind enough.”

My vision was just one wee thing on the application, yet they used it as an excuse to deny me.  Yes, I’m a Southern American and I’m Caucasian.  So the feck what?  Look, I’m not a xenophobe.  However, when I’ve seen blatant evidence that minorities are treated better than the rest of us, I tend to get cross!  I used to work with a chap that was Hispanic.  The government paid for his University fees as well as giving him rent and food money equalling about $1100 a month. 

Everyone should be on a level playing field when it comes to jobs and education.  When I finished secondary school, there was no free access to third level education.  Parents of all races and cultures had to save for a long time to send their kids to college.  As it is in the states now, if you’re an immigrant or are anything other than Caucasian, you can go to school for free and have free lodging and food.

I’m not a racist.  I’m just stating the facts as I see them.  We are in hard times.  I realise that.  All I was asking for was assistance for the next few years so I can finish University and make a difference in this world.  But, they couldn’t do that.

I have a new outlook thanks to this denial.  The US government can fuck off!  I will always support the troops, policeman, and fire-fighters, but the politicians and greedy officials can screw somebody else over.  I, and my family, have been screwed over enough!  Don’t ask me for another mother fecking thing, government.  Fuck off with ya.

My sister said it best the other day as we were shopping.  She said, “Everyone from doctors to family and friends have called you retarded and written you off.  You’ve out lived some of them and have done more in the last six years than any of them have in a lifetime.”

I will succeed.  I will hike through rain, sleet, and snow. I will climb the highest peaks and never give up. 

Do you know what happens when you kick a Mutt?  He comes back stronger than ever and chews your effing leg off!

Have a grand week all…

17/10/11

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Today, I went to class and took tests in Criminal Justice and Criminology (sociological perspective of criminal behavior.). I came home and took another d*mn test. I’ve been playing with the new version of Linux Mint ever since I finished my homework. It’s been a fairly boring day. A fairly boring month, if I must admit it. Luckily, Linux Mint and blogilo have been keeping me entertained. And, I’ve managed to sign up for Spring 2012 classes.

In the morning I have Forensics and Criminal Law tomorrow night. I thoroughly enjoy both of those classes and am looking forward to publishing my final papers. The major I’m seeking is grand, but it does have its drawbacks.

I have said in the past that I lead a boring life. Now you know the truth! I hope to have something worth your reading by the end of the week. Have a grand week all…

Muttering

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What have I been up to?  I know the lot of you are just sitting at your RSS readers every morning in anticipation of my scribbling’s.  Okay, maybe not.  I have been up to utterly nothing except studying and writing papers for my criminal law courses.  Sounds like fun, aye?  Actually, I quite enjoy doing research, but there are always deadlines. 

So, I’ve been rushing from one deadline to the next in an endless vacuum of studious discipline.  Everyone thinks I’m a genius, but I’m far from it.  I just work harder than a lot of them and I have experience they don’t.  Education is life long and vital to survival in todays world.  Even Farmers are learning graphic design and business techniques in order to sell their products in a world market.  I’m the oldest fecker in all of my classes, yet I’m the fastest at spitting out math calculations.  My 16 year-old sister takes two to three times as long to calculate a solution than I do.  What does that say about the youth?  And, I’m supposed to be a complete blabbering idiot. 

There are quite a few things, however, that I have a hard time with.  The upside is that I have some gorgeous co-eds that help me and I help them.  They help me study and I review their papers.  I’d like to review more, but we have an understanding.  And, I’m getting to the age that I want to settle down with one woman, not two or three (as entertaining as that sounds).  Smile

On Thursday of this past week, the courses I’m taking hit home.  I have Forensic Science on Tuesday and Thursday mornings.  It’s an absolutely blast.  The lab is filled with all sorts of fun toys for the enquiring mind.  There’s a gas chronometer, a comparison microscope (for comparing brass striations), a fingerprint scanner, a super glue vapour chamber, an electromagnetic footprint analyser, guns, and all sorts of other cool toys.  It’s a fun class, but Thursday’s class was disturbing.

The Professor had some detectives from the homicide division come over to give us a wee seminar on forensics in the crime scene.  What we ended up seeing was videos and photos of rotting corpses, gun shot wounds, and people that had blown their heads off.  It was very disturbing and horrific.  About half the class either left gagging or crying.  I stayed because I’ve got to be Mr Macho, but I kind of wish I hadn’t have.  I’ve seen a lot in my day, but nothing like seeing a guys head blown clean off and bits of him all over the room he was in. 

When I got out of school Thursday afternoon, I found out that my sisters house had been broken into.  So, I had to go help clean up and board up the window the thieves used to get in.  I crime scene tech was at her house, when I arrived.  We talked about crime scenes and I watched him dust for prints.  I made sure he did it right!  Pricks wore gloves though. 

It has been a fairly boring weekend filled with Tests and one car show.  Everyone loves the Beetle!  The old hippies and the kids alike love my ‘66 Beetle.  In fact, I was driving down the road the other day and a guy hung his head out of his truck at a red-light and said, “Long live the 60’s, man…Rock on”.  It was hilarious!

I’ve got to go study for a test in the morning.  Have a grand week all…

pickens5