Quirky Sam

That much beloved extraterrestrial Hen, Atyllah from Novapulse, has beaked me for a meme. Instead of giving you all and Atyllah useless material about myself, I figured I’d tell you ’bout Sam.

Sam is a longtime friend/foe. He is a devilish little squirrel that is overflowing with high jinx. Why, just the other day he caused a major kerfuffle on my street.

He was bumbling about on my gable roof, when he accidentally knocked one of his treasured pine cones off the ménage. It sailed through the air, like a missile without an objective, weaving and bobbing through the January current. Finally, it landed in the drive and bounced out into the street, stopping in the centre of the roadway.

What did he do?

His beady eyes jounced with exhilaration of the chase, as he gleamed at the pine cone twinkling against the asphalt. Silently, he scurried across the roof and leapt to an adjacent pine tree. While flying through the air, wiggled his tail, missed the landing, and fell through the bleached and bare branches.

After plopping to the ground on his back, he shook his head and careened across the parched and crumbly leaves of Autumn. At the roads edge, he cautiously gazed to the left and right, and excitedly skipped out into the street.

Sam clutched the cone with all of his might, sniffing and preening it as if it were his offspring. He danced a victory saltation round it, not minding the car motoring around the corner or the missus screeching for him to come home.

He looked up at the four tires and glistening metal reeling towards him, glared at the cone held tightly in his grip, eyeballed his matron, and with a brilliant countenance he aligned himself with the tires.

Standing with his tail upright, he snarled at his missus and smirked at the glimmering object flying towards him.

Little did he know that the bloke driving the car was a tree hugger, and that he would rather die than harm a squirrel. The bloke/neighbour came to a screeching halt in the ditch to the left of Sam. The man jumped out of his car holding his head with one hand and dialling the police with the other.

Lindy, the missus, vexedly chirped from the confines of their home/trunk. Sam, never letting go of the strobile he laboured for, smiled at her, and limped home.

Sam doesn’t get to come out and play much since that happened. She only sends him out to forage, but he always gets into some sort of tsuris.

Rules of meme are as follows:

* link to the person who tagged you
* post the rules on your blog
* share six non-important things/ habits/ quirks about yourself
* tag at least 3 people at the end of the post and link to their blogs
* let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog

Quirks

1. Sam has one foot bigger than the other, which is a real pain when he tries to scurry long distances. When he wears shoes, he has to buy the size that fits his right foot instead of both. But, he only wears such virile things, when he and the uxor go out. Squirrels wear shoes? Hmm…

2. He is a kind of mixed breed with spots to boot. Heck, his family is from all over these woodlands. They came here from different cultures, yet they get along for the most part. Of course, I did happen to see one of his cousins splattered out across the pavement the other day. Perhaps that is why he has disappeared.

3. He doesn’t really care for tourist. He jaunts all over the world, wreaking havoc where ever he goes, but don’t come in his yard. He may not be armed with a gun, but he’s got an absolute ton of nuts to throw at you.

4. Don’t tell him I told you so, but he screeches and squeals with an atrocious accent that irritates the heck out of his relatives in the northland.

5. Sam is a bit of a joker. He likes to do silly things to make people laugh. Life is too short to not be happy, says he. I reckon I’ve seen him cut cartwheels and purposely fall out of his tree a hundred times just to make his wife laugh.

6. He doesn’t like to see female squirrels cry. I watched him beat the hell out of a cat one day, just because it was mocking Lindy’s tail. Sam has a wee bit of a temper and won’t think twice about beating the pooh out of another male rodent, when he is being an arse to his mate for no reason.

Sam is a cool gnawer. I just wish he could keep his mind off the ladies…and food!

Now, who do I tag with this? This was too easy, so I’d like for those that get tagged to create a fictional character for the meme, if you all have time of course.

Brian F. (It’ll probably be about killing things.)

K8 the Gr8 (I’m curious as to what character she’d pick.)

Grannymar (Hmm..I wonder what Grannymar will say?)

The lot of you are more than welcome to do this, just let me know in the comments. Thanks.

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