Tanning is something that I don’t do. First of all, I’m a guy, and I get all the sun I need, gardening and walking. Besides, I’ve got enough sepia and cerise splattered cobwebs strewn across my skin to create a rainbow. I don’t understand the whole concept of baking in the sun, until my innards start percolating in their own juices. That kind of lifestyle is not for me.
When I do spend too much time in the sunshine, I usually get scorched! My skin sizzles, like speckled bird faeces landing on searing pavement. So, in order to avert any sunburning, I’ll be toting a large bottle of SPF 500, with a smile and a banana daiquiri!
I reckon I can thank my Celtic ancestors for my pointed nose, high forehead, freckles, and attitude! I only wish I could figure out where these massively long piano fingers of mine came from, in the grand genetic scheme of things. eh? Who cares, I’m going on holiday. Yay! 
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